Intro/Recap: We’ve been watching Saul change. He’s been moving from someone who was somewhat insecure to someone who would have to be described as deeply paranoid.
- We’ve talked about accelerants – factors that significantly influence the process of change.
- Some accelerants are situational, others are
more constant.
- Having the responsibility of the Kingdom was an example of a constant accelerant
Remember – Spiritually speaking, our character growth tends to be affected by 3 broad elements:
Spiritual People, Spiritual Actions and Spiritual connection.
- At this point in the narrative, Saul is in deep
trouble because:
- He’s lost Samuel, his #1 spiritual relationship
- He’s doing a lot of things, but not many spiritual things
- God has left him and he’s seeking relief instead of repairing his relationship with God.
1 Sam. 18:6-9
6 When the men were returning home after David had killed the Philistine, the women came out from all the towns of Israel to meet King Saul with singing and dancing, with joyful songs and with timbrels and lyres. 7 As they danced, they sang:
“Saul has
slain his thousands,
and David
his tens of thousands.”
8 Saul was very angry; this refrain displeased him greatly. “They have credited David with tens of thousands,” he thought, “but me with only thousands. What more can he get but the kingdom?” 9 And from that time on Saul kept a close eye on David.
10 The next day an evil[a] spirit from God came forcefully on Saul. He was prophesying in his house, while David was playing the lyre, as he usually did. Saul had a spear in his hand 11 and he hurled it, saying to himself, “I’ll pin David to the wall.” But David eluded him twice.
Women come specifically to meet King Saul, but David gets exponentially more credit
- Notice the language Saul uses, “credited” – the praise he was given goes into his “security bank account” – He is now at the point where he can’t hear others get more praise than him in matters in which he participates.
Discuss: Think about why Saul is angry. How is he not thinking logically?
- Not a personal attack – women aren’t trying to anger Saul, but lift up both of the national heroes.
- Saul COULD have fought Goliath himself. He’s the one who gave the opportunity to David.
- He’s immediately tying the amount of praise David is getting into David wanting the kingdom.
Notice the connection between Saul’s insecure and jealous thoughts at that moment and his evil actions the next day. Look at the key progression:
- Saul has a situation in which he feels significant hurt
- Saul makes assumptions he hasn’t fact checked, but doesn’t get perspective about his thoughts.
- Saul keeps thinking about negative thoughts and feelings (creates closed internal feedback loop)
- Saul subconsciously accepts his negative thoughts and feelings as true
- Saul acts on those negative thoughts and feelings
When you look at the scene, Saul says to himself, “I’ll pin David to the wall” – but once again, this isn’t a rational thought based on what is happening in the moment.
David is in the middle of providing relief for Saul. Saul’s still stuck in the feelings of yesterday. It’s not, “I’ll pin him to the wall for the way he’s playing, but for the feelings I had yesterday that David knows nothing about.”
Think for a moment: How good are you at processing what happens to you in real time?
- Meaning, when something happens, you take time at that moment to acknowledge your feelings about it and think through how it affects you. How long do you carry around unprocessed emotions?
- Are you creating closed internal feedback loops like Saul when you are hurt?
Where our difficulty in relationships really come back to hurt us are moments like Saul experienced in which we feel hurt, but don’t have someone objective to go to who can help us with crucial perspective.
Take one moment: Write down the name of the person you go to when you need perspective when feeling hurt. Now write down who you share with when that 1st person isn’t available.
3 key Questions: How often do we really go to those people, How honest are we, and How objective are they really? (Not really helpful if they simply agree with us)
The answers to those questions are important.
The things we say to ourselves tend to make more sense than what we say out loud or to others. Saul says his intentions to himself and they make sense. Look at the difference when Saul says things out loud: 1 Sam 19:1-7
19 Saul told his son Jonathan and all the attendants to kill David. But Jonathan had taken a great liking to David 2 and warned him, “My father Saul is looking for a chance to kill you. Be on your guard tomorrow morning; go into hiding and stay there. 3 I will go out and stand with my father in the field where you are. I’ll speak to him about you and will tell you what I find out.”
4 Jonathan spoke well of David to Saul his father and said to him, “Let not the king do wrong to his servant David; he has not wronged you, and what he has done has benefited you greatly. 5 He took his life in his hands when he killed the Philistine. The Lord won a great victory for all Israel, and you saw it and were glad. Why then would you do wrong to an innocent man like David by killing him for no reason?”
6 Saul listened to Jonathan and took this oath: “As surely as the Lord lives, David will not be put to death.”
7 So Jonathan called David and told him the whole conversation. He brought him to Saul, and David was with Saul as before.
Discuss: What is the perspective that Jonathan provides for Saul?
- What you are asking/planning to do is a great wrong
- David has not wronged you (affirming the absence of wrong deeds)
- David has greatly benefited you (affirming the presence of right deeds)
- Remember the Lord’s involvement
- Remember your initial response (you were glad at one point)
- If you do this, you will be doing it for no tangible reason. Will you question your reasoning?
Wow! What valuable and specific perspective!
- When we provide perspective for others, the more specific we can be, the better. Simply saying, “You’re wrong” or “Don’t think/do that” is not as helpful.
Even though this state of peace doesn’t last long, there is a remarkable difference here. Once Saul voices his intentions, even though the bible doesn’t record any of his attendants challenging his thinking, Jonathan does.
- Saul’s attendants don’t act on what he says (to kill David) but they don’t challenge his thoughts.
Again, this is a key factor – but before we are hard on that group, think about the role they had been given in Saul’s life. They are all attendants; Jonathan is a son.
Attendant Status VS Relationship Status
Did any of the attendants really have a true position in which they could have spoken to Saul’s behavior?
- We have to be careful about giving people attendant status vs. relationship status.
- Both groups of people spend time with us, are in close proximity and we often share the same things with them, but attendants don’t really have the same influence and authority in our lives.
- Attendants sometimes become scapegoats for us
when we want to blame others “Why didn’t you say something to me?” but:
- Giving relationship status is a deliberate action
- People who should have relationship status (family, spouses, close friends, etc.) can feel like attendants from how we treat them over time.
Discuss: Do we understand this concept?
Language
Our language says a lot and is often an indicator of how we are changing in our character. Sometimes we stop really listening to ourselves, but that is important – especially when we are under pressure, angry or discouraged. Let’s examine some of Saul’s dialogue at this point in his life. 1 Sam. 22:6-8
6 Now Saul heard that David and his men had been discovered. And Saul was seated, spear in hand, under the tamarisk tree on the hill at Gibeah, with all his officials standing at his side. 7 He said to them, “Listen, men of Benjamin! Will the son of Jesse give all of you fields and vineyards? Will he make all of you commanders of thousands and commanders of hundreds? 8 Is that why you have all conspired against me? No one tells me when my son makes a covenant with the son of Jesse. None of you is concerned about me or tells me that my son has incited my servant to lie in wait for me, as he does today.”
Discuss: What’s dangerous about the way Saul is speaking in this scene?
- “Is that why you have conspired against me?”
- No discussion or debate about whether feelings are true, simply matter of fact.
- No one can respond constructively because there is already an accepted conclusion
- “Conspired”
- Inflammatory language. Implies ill will and evil intent
- “No one tells me” and “None of you is concerned
about me”
- Everything is everyone else’s fault, victim language.
- Absolutes – none of you, no one
- Will the son of Jesse give all of you…
- Manipulation – eliminates the ability to have a real conversation
- Son of Jesse
- Not “David” – Effectively dehumanizes David. Easier to vilify
Saul has lost the ability to reason logically with himself, and he is talking to others but not really having a conversation with them, so he has blocked any attempt of others to reason logically with him too.
In all that Saul says here, he’s never vulnerable. “I’m afraid of losing the kingdom”
- Think through your conversations
- Am I truly willing to be influenced? Means you can articulate how you can and should put into practice what you are hearing.
- Are the terms that I use likely to escalate or diffuse a tense situation?
- Do I use a lot of absolutes?
- Am I vulnerable?
Final thought for this week:
Do you notice that in most every scene it is noted that Saul had his spear with him, in his hand? He’s become hypervigilant. He’s always on guard, always looking for something to defend against.
Whatever we struggle with in our character, hyper-vigilance is a key indicator that something major should be addressed in our lives.
Ruben's Lesson Notes 